“Victory!“

Campaigns by green do-gooders across various states and municipalities sought, and continue to seek, bans on single use, plastic bags historically provided at no cost by retailers. Thus the ubiquitous “paper or plastic?’ query upon checkout. Rationales advanced in proposed bans range from they become litter, length of time to decompose — “hundreds of years!” — and reliance on petroleum (here at PWA call it organic fuel) production (HORRORS!).

The self-styled planet savers have divined a no-cost (to them) cause celebre, banish those plagues on society. And what harvest does society reap for its compliance?

On the lower and lowest end of the economic continuum, it’s a loss of a cost-free conveyance for a sack lunch for adult and kiddies alike, loss of a trash receptacle, a dog dropping cleaner-upper, an in-car trash receptacle and a variety of other mundane uses. What all but the uppermost economic strata also received is a necessity to purchase cloth or — wait for it — a reusable PLASTIC shopping bag or bags to lug the groceries home. Bottom line — free plastic out, pay for plastic in.

Thanks to the plastic warriors the formerly free plastic bag has been replaced by plastic for purchase. Your friendly neighborhood grocer is only too accomodating. Gone are the freebies, in are trash can liners of every size and shape. Need a wsatebasket liner? Got ’em, only $3.99 a throw. Need a half gallon storage bag? Ditto. One gallon, five gallon, tall kitchen, zip-lock sandwich, zip-lock storage? Ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto and ditto! Problem solved, right?

Well, not exactly. In addition to plastic bags of every size for every use, we took a stroll down the aisles in our local grocer. Lo and behold, you thought those plastic bags at checkout were ubiquitous, get a load of the plastic on virtually every shelf!

Yessir — produce, bakery, frozen foods — plastic lines every aisle!

Meats, sweets and paper all in plastic…

Cleansers, pet stuff, home gadgets and more…

Liquids galore preserved in…you guessed it…

Morning vitamins, coffee and newspaper all plasticized

When William Daniels took Dustin Hoffman aside in The Graduate, he whispered to Hoffman’s character to remember one thing, “Plastics!”. Bullseye! From the simple single use once-free grocery bag to packaging that is easily pulled open to packaging that defies scissors, knives and all sorts of shears — plastic is as indispensible as the raw material from which it’s derived.

History has proven to a fare-thee-well that the law of unintended consequences is an immutable law of daily life. Crusading against plastic results in the cause being turned on its head. The convenience of the plastic bag at checkout and absence of cost disappear for Joe consumer. The consumer’s “reward” is expenditure for replacement in cloth, plastic or paper, inconvenience of schlepping reusable bags — thanks to Gang Green — a classic lose/lose.

What of the green crusader? He/she/them/they can once again self-congratulate on having struck a blow for Spaceship Earth, for feeling good about being a righteous person in pursuit of “righteous” causes — and — they will proudly carry their badge of honor, a cloth bag with their favorite logo – -The Sierra Club, The Wilderness Society. Friends of the Earth or whatever .org shipped them the bag for their tax deductible contribution. Let their “virtue” be signaled to any and all now and forever!